Influencers Weekly Devotional

June 7, 2010

Go With ME

Embracing our Sacred Responsibility with Christ

Reflecting on the Father’s heart

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.’ So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” Luke 15:17-20 Awhile back, I was asked by a man to contribute my thoughts for a “How To” book he was thinking about writing to help fathers better relate with their sons. His thoughts on the book dealt mainly with practical ways, using different activities and different stimuli, which would help a man guide his son. Although it seemed like a good concept at first blush, I felt his approach was, in some ways, artificial and would likely be sniffed out by the rebellious sons. I chose to let someone else make contributions in that area for his book, for I felt the issue was not about finding different ways to relate to our children, but rather finding God’s way. If we want to understand God’s way, then we need to understand His heart and how His way loves us into a relationship with Him. In the same way, His “heart” in us creates great appeal to our children for having a healthy relationship with us, and this allows us to influence them on right paths. I realize the “heart” reference is used a lot, and some of you might want to have a better understanding of what it means. I’m sure you already understand that I’m not talking about the muscle in the body that pumps blood through our bodies. The “heart,” as referenced in the Bible, is used as a metaphor for what is dearest and best. The heart is also regarded as the seat of emotions, of memory, and of wisdom. In speaking about the heart of God as it relates to His children, I am referring to His deep love, and his deep affection for us. It is a complete and thorough love that conveys from every aspect of His being. He not only loves us, but He likes us. Sure, He doesn’t like many things we do, but He likes us no less. In the parable of the Prodigal Son, we see in the father a great representation of God’s love for us, in the way he graciously receives his son back into his “heart.” In the same fashion, God loves us, and He then loves through us to the people in our life. The reason I am referencing God’s heart as it relates to reaching our children is because I believe there are some heart issues we need to focus on within ourselves as dads, if we want to relate to our children in the best way possible. So, let’s look at those issues: Heart issue #1 - Love God with all your heart - Jesus spoke of what our first love as a dad should be in Matthew 22:36-38 (NIV) "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied:  'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment.” If we want to relate to our children and the rest of the people in our world in the best way possible, the priority of having an intimate, abiding relationship with God is paramount. Every relationship we have in the horizontal plane of our life must process though our vertical connection with God. If our heart connection with God is healthy, then He will influence our priorities, our sensitivity, and our wisdom in fulfilling our Sacred Responsibility, as it relates to our children. We love our children best by loving God most and by allowing Him to love them through us. Heart issue #2 – Love our children’s mother as Christ loves us – “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” Ephesians 5:25 (NIV) - Years ago I personally discovered the truth that the best way we can love our children is to love their mother. I came from a slightly dysfunctional family relationship in which there was tumult that would often erupt between my parents. As a child, it gave me the deepest, most sorrowful feeling, along with a terrible dread that it could happen at any moment. On the other hand, when there was harmony and affection with my dad toward my mother, it gave me the greatest relief and joy to live in our home and a desire to honor my dad. This affection given to our children’s mother is a powerful influence on our children. This kind of “heart love” that we give to our wife should be the same “heart love” God gives to us, in that we convey that she is “dearest and best” to us, someone of great value. We cherish her in the same manner God cherishes us. We love our children best, when they see us affectionately loving their mother. Heart issue #3 - Love our children as the Prodigal Father loved his sons - Most of us would relate to the brother who stayed home, as he conveyed his “heart” about his wayward brother. After all, he wasn’t a rebellious child who squandered his dad’s resources as the other brother did. But keep in mind that this brother in the parable by Jesus, was a metaphor for the Pharisees, who did not have the “heart” of God within their perspective. What point was Jesus making? The son who stayed home was missing something essential for truly relating to the father, and the Prodigal son had found it. It was brokenness. It is in our brokenness before God that we best relate to Him, and it is in our brokenness before God that we best relate to our children. When we read about the Prodigal Father, we see a man who sees his son from afar and literally gathers his robe in his arms and runs to his son. The traditions of this time would convey that this father humbled himself in the greatest way possible in showing such joy, love and affection for his child by greeting him in such a manner. This father left no doubt in his son’s mind that his love was unconditional. This child, though undeserving, was honored by his father’s love. Those who observed this outward display of affection had no doubt in their minds about the father’s love for his son or the son’s place in the father’s “heart.” The son was restored to the “heart” of his father, though the father had never lost his “heart” for his son. It was only the son who doubted he could return to this sacred place. He was taught a valuable lesson through his brokenness. When we love our children in this manner, as our Father in heaven loves us, there will never be a time that our children will ever doubt our “heart” for them. Sure, there will be rebellion, in some way, by most sons and daughters, just as we have all rebelled against our Heavenly Father and against our earthly fathers. When our children rebel, we must allow them to find their own “brokenness,” so that God can shape them into men and women after His own heart. But they need a solid foundation in their life in knowing that we love them with the “heart” of the Prodigal father, and that they will never leave this sacred place because of their rebellion. We love them best by our brokenness before God, and our affection toward them is inspired from this connection with God. Heart issue #4 – A demonstration of personal integrity at all times - There is nothing that will undermine our ability to influence our family, and especially our children, more that duplicity. We must live with integrity in our marriage, in our dealings with all people in and outside the home, and in all occasions.  Our children are watching us closely in this area. In this day and time, the greatest character quality needing to be demonstrated by leaders is authentic integrity. Unfortunately, our children see little of it in the public characters that they see on TV, movies, or in the newspaper. Therefore, they must see in it in you, and in the home.   Your influence in this area will build strong character in your children and will create in them a “heart” of courage that will stand against the challenges they will face. Dads, if you want your children to be men and women of character, it begins with you. Perhaps you now understand why I didn’t contribute to a “How To” book with ideas on ways to relate to a son. I feel there has been enough emphasis placed on this endeavor already, to the neglect of the most important aspect, which is the heart connection we dads need with the Father. I believe it is in this healthy connection with our Father that He will inspire our emotions, our minds, our wisdom, and yes, our “heart” to know how to relate with our children. It is one of the many examples of the “fruit” Jesus speaks of, when He tells us to abide in Him. It is a fruit that will last. To His glory, Rocky TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THIS DEVOTIONAL, CLICK HERE