From 'Afraid' to 'In Awe'

[God's Word ... It's impact on my life]

by Evans Rector

"But to this one I will look, to him who is humble and contrite of spirit,

and who trembles at My word."

[Isaiah 66: 2b]

When I was led to surrender my life to Christ at age 21 (1972) and given a Philips New Testament, I remember physically shaking as my friend opened the Bible to one of his favorite passages and read it to me.   At that point in my life the 'trembling' was a real fear based on an unwillingness to hear, read, or even learn (Proverbs 13:13).   After 41 years of being on a faith journey, I am now 'in awe' (i.e., a healthy trembling) because of the experiences and results that have proved how powerful and perfect His written Word is.   This healthy "in awe" is based on the many years of the Lord speaking His life truth to me, reminding me that as I seek Him in His written word, He reveals Himself to me and exposes the 'me' He is changing daily as I listen, attempt to obey, and allow His Holy Spirit to continue working on me.

From 'Prideful' to 'Grateful'

  II Timothy 2:15 states:  'Be diligent to show yourself approved',...(be) 'a good workman'...'handling accurately the word of truth'.  So, motivated out of prideand wanting recognition for 'doing right' and 'achieving good marks', this became my pursuit.   Even though my motive for obedience was 'off', God knew His Word would expose 'me' in due time and become the core of my faith (Romans 10:17) and my life path (Psalm 119:105)...once enough humbling had taken place.   He constantly provided several more mature men that 'lived by His Word'.  They modeled a lifestyle built around seeking and searching His Word daily for guidance in every area of life...marriage, work, parenting, money, habits, leisure activities, mission-focus, ministry, etc.   These men discipled me through scripture memory and study, as well as challenging me directly to take my faith commitment and daily walk seriously.   I admired their diligent focus and saw a Godly strength, calm, peace, and Spirit's presence that was real and enticing.   Additionally, two suggestions from two different pastors helped focus my path in learning the Word:   (1)    One encouraged me to get a good "study Bible" and not just use my 'half-sword' or an 'easy-to-read paraphrase' (2)    The other one suggested a study guide called 'Bible Pathway' which would help me read-thru the Bible in one-year, 15-minutes-a-day. (I don't think I would have spent much time in the O.T. if it weren't for this compelling guide).  The most compelling aspect of this guide is that each day Christ is revealed, which was something I hadn't known of before...great way to begin to understand that 'the gospel' started in Genesis.   I am so grateful to the Lord for: (1) His Son, (2) His Word, (3) His Spirit, (4) His faithful followers brought across my path to inspire, encourage, guide, and share/enjoy His faithful presence and revelation.  

From 'Convicted' to 'Convinced'

  As 'life began to happen', and my human tendencies (i.e., areas of weakness, 'sin + self') showed up, the Word's transforming power was able to start truly dealing with my head and heart issues which were causing strife, conflict, unhappiness, agitation, anxiety, fear, etc.    Every area of my life has been impacted:  marriage, children, family of origin conflicts, money stress and greed issues, health issues, temptation, work, ministry, pleasure, etc.   A few examples of how God's Word helped the Holy Spirit as He convicted me:   -          Anger:  Growing up I broke my hand twice hitting a younger brother so, I obviously had to admit that I did have anger issues...Christ spoke very clearly about 'anger in your heart' is the same as 'murder' (ouch); also, James clearly says that 'anger does not bring about the righteousness of God'...was I convinced enough to be done with it?   Guess not, for it wasn't until my teenage daughter thanked me for apologizing about 'getting angry' (again) but said, 'Dad, when are you going to stop?' that I realized God was going to have to make this die, since I couldn't.   -          Lust:  This is and will be a constant challenge, especially since I am "sensual being living in a very sensuous culture" bent on corrupting us (II Peter 1:4)...Christ spoke very clearly about 'looking upon a woman with lust in your heart' is the same as 'adultery' (ouch, again); the Bible is full of many failures in this area, but only a few strong ones...Job and Joseph.   David's fall really scared me as I found out he was 'in his fifties' when that happened, so I am always aware.   -          Greed:  Growing up around 'relative affluence' was enjoyable, but gave me a distorted view of its necessity, sense of identity, and importance...Christ spoke very clearly that we are to "be aware of every form of greed, for even with an abundance a man's life doesn't consist of his possessions" (Luke 12:15).   At 25, I put together an 8-page listing of all of the scriptures on money that I could find, so I would have 'God's perspective' on it.   Yet, there was and still has been a conflictedness in this area that exists at various levels, even today...struggle is good and strengthens my faith.  My hope is to get to this place: 'Godliness with contentment is great gain.' (I Timothy 1:6)   I am absolutely convinced of this: in my 'self' and 'by myself', I am totally unable to live as God has asked and intended...the world does and will 'squeeze me into its mold' (Romans 12:1,2 - Philips)...it is only by the Word's transforming work that I will ever be able to experience His righteous, sanctifying process taking place in my life (Psalm 119:9-11; John 17:17; II Peter 1:2-4; Hebrews 4:12,13). To summarize, I am in awe as I look back these 40+ years and see how my God has faithfully used His people that are being transformed by His Word(throughout my life, everywhere I have been), to foster and encourage in me a continued desire to: read, meditate and ponder on, seek to obey, understand His written Word so  I can know Him as best I can while here on earth...(John 14:21, 23-24)    

The Word Just Does What It is Supposed to Do!

"The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul;

The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.

The precepts of the Lord are right, rejoicing the heart;

The commandment of the Lord is pure, enlightening the eyes.

The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever;

The judgments of the Lord are true; they are righteous altogether.

They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold;

Sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb.

Moreover, by them Thy servant is warned;

In keeping them there isgreat reward."

[Psalm 19:7-11]