Influencers Weekly Devotional

The Impossibility of a Love Like Christ by

Rocky Fleming

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.” Ephesians 5:25-28

Last week in the Journey Group I lead, we discussed the passage above and the instructions to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. When you get right down to it, we are asked to do an impossible thing aren’t we guys? The men in my group came to understand this, as I laid out the impossible aspects of Christ’s love. Even so, we can’t use impossible as an excuse, for we are not given instructions from God’s Holy Word to follow, if we are unable to obey them. The question then comes forth with how do we do the impossible, and love like Christ loves us? Let’s look at what we are up against: I asked my guys to go around the table and give some one-word descriptions of how God loves them. I heard, “Merciful .. Kind .. Patient .. Hopeful .. Loving .. Tender .. Faithfully .. and finally, that aspect of God that sums it all up … Gracious.” I asked the men to expand on what God’s grace means to them, and it was a challenge, for it is something indescribable, and totally an aspect of God. You see, grace and God go together like a hand and a glove. But, grace and a guy go together like a warthog being a ballerina. They don’t go together! We just can’t pull off the grace love no matter how hard we try. But then, my group of men understood how God’s grace had transformed us into men who want to be with Him, and to honor Him with our life. His grace has shown us the way to go deeper in our relationship with Him, far beyond what our manmade efforts had produced. His grace has given us a vision of the man we can become, and one we long to be. Somehow, this grace, this impossible to understand aspect of God, makes all things possible, and even possible for us to accept, though we don’t understand it. How can this dynamic work in a bunch of men unless it is His indescribable grace that enables it? But that is the answer for the dilemma of how a man can do the impossible and love his wife the way God has loved him, isn’t it? It is God’s grace poured into a man’s life that then pours through his life, and anoints his wife with that which he has received. We don’t have to do the impossible, and love like Christ does. All we have to do is allow this impossible love to flow through us, and watch it do its work in our wife. My guys in the Journey Group were a quieter bunch after they listed the aspects of God’s love above, and I then dropped the net on them when I asked, “.. and we are told to love our wife this way?” We all shook our heads as we realized how truly improbable the task is. But, we also grasped that it is not as impossible as we once thought, because grace enables us to do the impossible. But what about a wife who turns even our grace away? Men, some of you might think that nothing can turn the heart of your wife. You might think she has developed a crust around her heart, and nothing you can do can change it. The truth is, you need to accept the responsibility for a large part of that crust. It doesn’t happen suddenly. It is a slow, erosive condition that changes a person into a hard, uncaring, or unlovable person. I’ve seen it from many years of mentoring and ministering to men and their wives. What I’ve seen over and over is how this unattractive condition falls on a wife, if she feels unloved by her husband or her family. She becomes a reflection of what is being projected on her by her husband. Unfortunately, many times the children do the same, and the poor woman builds a crust around her heart so she can live with the negatives coming at her. But there is hope she can change. I next asked my group if they felt any woman could resist loving Christ as a man. Now I realize that I’m talking about God the Son when I ask this, so don’t think I am blaspheming Him, or humanizing Him, for I am not. But, listen to my question closely, and understand what I am presenting about a wife who has been hurt by years of neglect by her husband. We can learn from the way Christ offered Himself to all people, including men and women. Jesus was a human, as well God, and I believe the man, Jesus … the man who was tender, and kind, and gentle, merciful and forgiving … the man who had all these gracious qualities, yet still strong and courageous … would be irresistible to a woman who didn’t feel loved. And, it is this Jesus in us, who is able to live with us, and produce these qualities in us, who will break the crust around a heart, and give that which our wife longs for from us. This Jesus pours His grace and all the other qualities of His, through us to our wife, and she will respond to this, as surely as she would respond to Jesus. It might take time. Remember, she had an erosive attack on her over many years to make her feel unloved, and coming back from it will require a long term effort. But, what comes back to you with your wife is similar to what has come back to Jesus with your life. He has loved you with His grace, and it has given you a greater capacity to love. A transformed life and a loving desire to live close to Him is a response to His grace love. His grace has transformed you, and His grace through you will also transform your wife from a hardened woman who feels no love, to a woman with a great capacity to love, because she is loved with God’s grace through you. Husbands, you can love your wife as Christ has loved the Church because He loves you, and loves through you. Simply allow His love to flow through you, and like the passage above says, you will be loving yourself, because your wife comes to love you as you’ve longed for her to love you. Grace makes it happen. It is the great enabler. So, don’t hold it back. Let it do its work. Download file