Influencers Weekly Devotional

Abide with ME

Abiding Emotionally - Part Five

Is it a Deeper Problem or a Symptom?

Scripture: “There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love.” 1John 4:18 Thought: Perfect love casts out fear. However, there is only one perfect love, and that is God’s love. If fear exists in God’s man, could it be it is because he has not been abiding in God’s perfect love, and it shows elsewhere? Application: I am a man who is 66 years old. I was a businessman until age 60, before going into a full-time ministry position with Influencers. However, I have had a minister’s heart throughout most of my business career. For many years I have sought to process my life through God’s holy word, and allow my relationship with Christ, through the Holy Spirit, to be my teacher and guide. He has shown me a way to overcome some of my greatest struggles. However, it was not through self-help programs or any sort of behavior modification that I found help. Rather, it was by going to the root cause of my struggles, allowing God to deal with me through His solutions. I have counseled with hundreds of men. Many of these men have been very transparent about their struggles, whether it is at home, at work, or within a secret life of shameful thoughts and hidden activities. I have found that my personal struggles in life have been consistently similar to theirs, which leads me to believe that all men are very similar in their needs, wants, and efforts to find security, love and significance. I have also counseled with many wives who share with me about their heartaches and anger toward their husbands. I hear from them frustrations similar to those my wife had concerning me during a particular time in my life. Similarly, I have heard husbands share the struggles they have with their wives, and again, they sound like struggles I once had with my own wife. This leads me to believe that most marriages struggle for the same reason. Couples are struggling to find unity and intimacy in their marriage. Are these struggles problems, or are they symptoms of a root problem? I believe they are symptoms, for they were for me. The thing I see most often is that men and women look at the problems in their life as things that need to change in order to find happiness. They pursue remedies to deal with their problems. However, most often, the only remedies they find deal with the outside appearance of things, rather than the heart of the problem. Then, they wonder why the problems continue to resurface. It is because they have only treated the symptoms rather than the root of the problem. What are some symptoms we often see in men that drive wedges in their relationships in their business, in their home, and even in their pulpit as they step before their congregation to teach? How about anger, control, suspicion, or self-centeredness? These were my struggles for years, and if I don’t stay where the root of these problems is handled, I could fall back into those ways in a moment’s notice. How about you? There are other symptoms such as worrying about the future, being sullen or withdrawn, being stressed out, and being absent from home. Got any of those symptoms? If so, I will say to you clearly. You will not deal with what caused these problems by simply making an effort to change yourself externally. You need help at a deeper place, and God’s perfect love will do it. So, what is the root problem for all these symptoms? Like I said, I’ve seen it consistently for many years in myself, and in many men and women alike. It is fear. Fear will cause us to do bad things in hopes of not seeing our fears realized. For example, why do people try to control circumstances and other people in business? They are fearful of their personal goals not being reached. They are fearful of failure. Why do husbands do the same in their homes? Even with good motives, they are fearful for their families, so they try to control the amount of danger, loss, or embarrassment that could come to their family. They are also fearful of the perception of themselves as not being a good dad or husband, and this drives them to become controlling and autocratic. Another example would be men spending too much time at work and neglecting the families they love? These men are fearful of not being a good provider and not being able to secure things which they think prove their love for their families. But at the heart of these symptoms of neglect, control, stress, and health issues is fear. I could give many illustrations and examples to make my point, for I have seen many. I think you get my point. The big question I have is why do we not take the “good medicine” God prescribes for the root problem of our symptoms? I think it is because we are rarely taught that our problems are only an indication of a bigger problem, and the bigger problem is fear. Rarely are we told that embracing and being embraced by God’s perfect love will drive out the fears that cause the symptoms, and we try instead to change things “outside in” rather than “inside out.” We fail to connect the mysterious love connection we have with God through abiding with Christ to the place where our fears are dealt with and symptoms are exchanged. Jesus promises “fruit” as a result of our abiding relationship with Him in John 15, and that fruit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These are symptoms of an abiding relationship with Christ, symptoms of someone who has had their fears removed. Believe me when I say, rarely is there an employee at a man’s business or a wife in his home who would find fault with these symptoms, for they are the antithesis of the symptoms that fear produces. Therefore, treat the root problem and not the symptoms, if you want to see true life transformation that sticks. Reply: Father, I thank You for showing us the only way true transformation in our life can occur is by being in close proximity to You. Shamefully, we neglect our time with You and allow our busyness to be our reason for doing so. I know it is strange for me to say this, but I thank You that you allow the symptoms of this neglect to surface in our lives, for like fever, it tells us there is a hidden, more serious problem that causes these symptoms. If we didn’t have these symptoms, we would not be attracted to the place where true life change occurs, and we would be led astray by the one who causes our fears. I pray for the men who read this devotional that they will understand Your great love for them and their great need to go to this love and live there. Then, they will become men who represent You well in their homes and workplaces, and wherever they go. To Your honor I ask this and commit these men. In Jesus name I pray, Rocky CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD A COPY OF THIS DEVOTIONAL