Testimony: Todd Tessen, Man of God - Bakersfield, CA

Hello, my name is Todd Tessen, and this is my story of how the Influencers played a big part in saving my life, in changing things as I knew them forever, and in becoming the Man Of God I am today.

Roughly 14 years ago, I was on the verge of leaving this planet. For years I had lived a life of drugs, alcohol, women, violence and hostility. I was Angry at the world and not sure why. I was surrounded by anyone and everyone who was broken and some that were pure evil, myself included at times. I could write for days on my past life. And to some it would read like a movie. Others would be disgusted by it. But it is my story. It is my past. And it is gone the best I have been able to surrender things.

In 2011, God -- a God I had no relationship with at all -- had decided (in my mind) to go ahead and shut me down for good. I was having trouble taking things into my own hands. So, God was going to go ahead and push me over the top. "In my mind."

I was having yet another child from another mother come into the world, only this one would be special. My son Taylor would be born with HLHS. You can look it up, but basically he has ½ a heart. His first open heart surgery was around 7 days old. This followed his first spine surgery at 3 days old. He also has a form of spinal bifida called Myelomeningocele.

His odds of life weren’t good through birth and his surgeries. Best case was about 10% chance of living through any of it. This timeline in my life is a testimony, but one for another day. However, it would be in this time that God would make himself known to me. On a mountaintop I would be caught off guard by a group of men and one very special Pastor that would forever change my life. Not very willingly though. I was not an easy sale. But I knew I had to do something. You see, my plan was to live only as long as my son. And Taylor kept living.

I wasn’t sure I could keep living until I met Jesus. This started a battle for my soul. It was terrifying and painful. After a year of struggling to find God and get away from the darkness, God, whom I hadn’t even really prayed to or understood yet, performed a miracle right before my very eyes. Right before the eyes of many. Only after I prayed to Him, I fell to the ground exhausted and finally surrendered my life to Him. God restored Taylor’s life when we had been told by doctors they couldn’t do anymore. Doctors were scrambling, dad and mom were crying. It was a very chaotic scene. One that would change our lives forever. One that would change many lives forever.

Fast forward to coming home roughly 2 years after Taylor was born, and on and off for the next 6 months. Now I was home, and I needed to search more intensely and more purposefully to try and learn who God and Jesus were. I was virtually living on the streets or with whomever would take me. But I was engulfing myself in church. I took a job that allowed me to read God’s word but had no idea what any of it meant. There was no context at all for me. I was attending Bible studies at a local church. It was mainly women with the occasional husband popping in to see who the man was attending Bible study. It was good and I was listening and learning what I could get out of it. But still not what I needed. I had things to let go of. Surrounded by ladies was not the place to shed my baggage. But I kept going, until one Sunday a buddy invited me to a BBQ. It was free and it was only men.

Without hesitation I accepted and met my friend for some food. I walked in and some people were astonished to see me in that place. Old friends, or just people who knew my lifestyle. But with open arms, I was accepted in. It was an M6 here in Bakersfield and I remember crying at a testimony of a man who had changed his life through Jesus. Later that night a couple of guys invited me to a Journey Group that was starting the next night. It would be 9 months of weekly time to get to know God and Jesus. My response was, “Absolutely, I will be there.” And I showed up. And it was perfect for me. God used Rocky to explain perfectly for a guy like me who God is and who Jesus is. He also threw in the Holy Spirit as a bonus to help me overcome the darkness in my life. I was on my way.

I have been involved for, I believe, 10 years now. After 2 years of attending, I was asked to step out and co-guide and was guiding Journey Groups and cruising right along. I was watching men’s lives be changed by God. Marriages restored. Addicts were finding peace. It was awesome. I had it licked. Until 4 years ago when tragedy hit my life in the form of death. Two of my children and my dad, all in a short period of time and in separate incidents. I was destroyed. It was then I fell before God again and begged forgiveness of my past. I was not good. Thoughts of not deserving what God had given me creeped in. And in that moment, or those moments, I should say, I found another level to the Influencers Ministry.

Brotherhood! A brotherhood that God would use to save my life yet again. I reached out to Colins and asked if I could just hang out with his group that year. I didn’t want to, nor could I have guided that year. A year that turned into 2. I dug deeper into the Journey material. I was a mess but hanging on. The guys surrounded me with love and compassion. They supported me no matter how many mistakes I made, no matter how many bad choices I made to ease my pain. And my relationship with God grew. My foundation was built stronger. My understanding of grace and mercy grew deeper. I battled my butt off to stay alive, all in search of God’s truth. I realized how important every inch of the material in the Journey is to have a relationship with not only God, but with men on the same mission.

How important the work God has trusted us with to guide others is. How to be vulnerable and transparent in our battles, so that other men can see and find strength in our testimonies. How living it out truly looks. As I continue to work every day to become a little better, I understand I have to abide in Jesus and He in me. As I strive to be more like Him. I want to end my story one day as a Gabe. I want people to know Jesus wherever I leave, or at least how much He means to me.

The Journey has been pivotal in saving my life on so many levels. I am absolute proof of God's ability to restore someone’s life. The men and women of Influencers are absolute proof God cares. I am not perfect, not even close. But surrounded by my brothers and engaged in the Journey. I can only move forward.

Thank you Rocky. For being that humble servant to the Lord and allowing Him to speak to us through your writing and your spoken words. I love it when you visit brother. Thank you to Les, Bobby, Eric, Elias, Jim, Keith, John, and many more.

Thank you Colins. I don’t know if anybody will ever see this. But I love you brother. Thank you for your mercy and grace. Thank you for your leadership. Thanks to all my guys and yours.

Most of all thank you GOD!

Todd Tessen
Blessed